Finding Quinn
by aerokk
Summary: Rachel's crazy questions...actually have a point.  Companion piece to Finding Rachel.


**Reposting my Faberry stories from LJ. This is a companion piece to Finding Rachel. I recommend reading that one first, but I believe this could stand alone. Constructive criticism is always heartily welcomed.**

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><p><span>Finding Quinn<span>

Rachel felt things deeply. Her love for Quinn surpassed any imagined feeling she had ever been able to conjure in her vivid imagination. She loved with passion and with _permanence_. When she finally gave herself to Quinn, she had made sure she was fully committed in both mind and soul. She fully expected that, having given her heart, body, and soul to the girl she loved, she would spend the rest of her life discovering the little ins and outs, the dreams and desires, the little complex mysteries that made up one Quinn Fabray.

She imagined the future a lot. She imagined the two of them going away to college (she to Julliard, Quinn to Columbia or NYU or another college within one hour from Julliard so that the two of them could rent an apartment midway between the two schools and neither would have more than a 30 minute commute). She imagined them getting married (by the time they took that all important step, she would already be starting a promising career on Broadway and Quinn would be established in whatever profession she chose to pursue so they could afford a lavish wedding). She imagined futures with and without children (depending entirely on whether or not Quinn would find it too emotionally painful to raise children after giving up the one she had given birth to in high school). She imagined the house they would retire to in their twilight years, aging gracefully in each other's arms on the veranda of a Tuscan villa (sometimes it was just the porch of a ranch house in Florida because her dads really wanted to retire there and she didn't want to be too far from them).

Sometimes she imagined other things. Issues they would need to overcome, for example. Problems they might face involving their living arrangements if Rachel's future Broadway show developed into a major motion picture to be filmed in Los Angeles. Which religion they ought to raise their possible future children under. How they would afford to go to Julliard and Columbia if they didn't get big scholarships. How they would get Quinn's dad to keep loving her after she told him that she was in love with a girl.

Rachel knew herself very well. She knew how she would react to most situations and what steps she would take to rectify most problems. Once she and Quinn started dating, she looked forward to learning how Quinn would deal with issues and how the two of them could work together to get over any bumps in the road.

But there weren't many bumps in the road. The arguments they had blew over too quickly for Rachel to gather any information about how Quinn would really respond to a serious crisis. Would she dig her heels in, fight and defend? Would she creatively save the day? Would she collapse into grief? Would she tuck tail and run?

So, Rachel started asking probing questions.

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><p>"What if that bus crashed into us?"<p>

It seemed as good a place to start as any, really. What would Quinn do in an immediate and pressing emergency? How would she respond to the adrenaline rush that would take over once she perceived the implications of a catastrophe to herself, her lover, her property?

_Will you rush to my aid, even at the expense of your own wellbeing? Will you cradle me in your arms and beg me to hold on while the ambulance approaches? Will you reach for my hand as we're both trapped in twisted, torn, metal wreckage?_

"What?"

"That bus. The one that just drove by. What if it hit us?"

"It…didn't."

Rachel sighed. Really, she'd been perfectly clear, but if more words were needed to explain herself she was more than capable of providing them. Unfortunately, the vehicle behind them blared its horn and Quinn was distracted from their conversation. Which was probably a necessary thing since Rachel decided that Quinn's attention really should be on driving, lest the hypothetical situation she had posited became more real than she wanted.

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><p>Rachel tried again the next day in Spanish class. Perhaps starting off with a catastrophic event was not the best way to determine Quinn's method of dealing with hardships. People often reacted differently in traumatic circumstances than in less jarring crises. Rachel wondered how Quinn might deal with a physical threat to her girlfriend.<p>

"What if Noah hit me?"

When Quinn spun so quickly in her chair, Rachel almost regretting whispering the rather abrupt question, especially when she saw the look of confused rage on the blond's face.

_Well that's interesting. Apparently, her first reaction would be rage at the fiend for laying a hand on me_.

But when Quinn's rage faded into frustrated confusion, Rachel found herself becoming frustrated as well. They were not difficult questions and Quinn shouldn't have such a problem answering them. She wasn't even trying! She just kept demanding further _irrelevant _explanation for the reasoning behind the questions.

Despite her extreme dislike of being chastised in class (it almost never happened anyway), Rachel was almost relieved that Mr. Schuester had interrupted their conversation before she lost her temper with Quinn's refusal to cooperate.

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><p>By lunch, Rachel was no longer irritated. She considered the fact that both times she had posed her questions, Quinn had been focusing on something (arguably) more important at the time. Since they were half way through their routine lunch period, sitting across from each other with no distractions, no reason for Quinn to have her focus anywhere but on her girlfriend's very important conversation, Rachel decided to try again.<p>

"What if we got lost in the woods?"

"What woods?"

Rachel could tell that Quinn was annoyed with her questions (the little creases between her eyebrows were cute but Rachel knew they portended the coming of a tantrum), but it was very important that they talk about these kinds of things!

The brunette was relieved when Quinn finally appeared to be taking her seriously. She closed her lovely hazel eyes and appeared to be imagining the scenario Rachel had laid out for her.

_Tell me you'd build me shelter. Tell me you'd find us food. Tell me you'd cuddle with me under a tree and sing songs into the dark until we were rescued._

"I won't let us get lost in the woods. I'll bring a map and a compass. Which I know how to use, by the way. We won't get lost." Quinn's smile almost broke her heart.

It was sweet, but not the point. Things were going to happen; things always do. Blanket reassurances that things _won't_ happen are just empty promises. She didn't want empty promises from Quinn, she wanted to know how they would deal together.

If they got lost in the woods.

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><p>As they passed a fenced Rottweiler on their walk Rachel tried again.<p>

"What if that dog attacked me?"

"I'd…kill it?"

Violence against an animal was something Rachel could never tolerate, even in response to said animal's violence against her own person. However, Quinn looked so horrified by her own response that Rachel simply chose to pretend that one hadn't happened.

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><p>Maybe she would never learn how Quinn would deal with things. Maybe they would hit their first major crisis 30 years down the road and Rachel would discover only then that Quinn didn't have the strength or desire to dig in and solve the problem. Maybe the last view she would ever have of her one true love would be Quinn's back as she ran, far and fast. Maybe Quinn wouldn't even stick around 30 years to <em>have<em> a major crisis. Maybe Quinn would never invest herself in this relationship nearly as much as Rachel did, and maybe Rachel would be the only one left in the relationship by the time she figured that out.

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><p>"What if I went missing?"<p>

"I'd find you."

Quinn had answered so quickly and firmly that it took Rachel a second to realize that the blond had finally responded appropriately. And fairly well, actually. Quinn was still looking down at the book in her lap, lounging on Rachel's couch, her shoulder pressed lightly against the brunette's.

"But what if I couldn't be found? What if my abductors were the best in their field and left absolutely no trace of me anywhere?"

_What if you don't realize that this situation could someday be reality and I'm actually asking you?_

Quinn put her book down and looked Rachel in the eye. In the hazel orbs, Rachel could see everything she had been looking for. Every future hurdle, jumped. Every commitment she had been silently begging for.

_Tell me you'll always find me. Tell me you'll always know where to look._

She kept talking, kept pressing, almost unable to help herself she kept almost daring Quinn to get up and walk out.

Quinn didn't. Quinn pulled her close and pressed their lips together, sighing promises and pledges and forever against the brunette's hungry lips.

_I would find you, too. I promise, I would find you._


End file.
